Nancy Myungja Moon

한국어 인터뷰 녹취록

소개 — 이름, 나이, 출신지

진행자: 이름, 나이, 어디서 태어나셨는지 말씀해 주세요.

문명자 권사님: 문, 명, 자입니다. 미국에 와서 이름이 바뀌었어요. 미국 와서는 네이시 — 네이시 명자 문입니다. 나이는 85세이고, 경상북도 청도에서 태어났습니다.

미국 오기 전 한국에서의 삶

진행자: 미국 오기 전에 한국에서의 삶은 어떠셨나요?

문명자 권사님: 대학교 2학년까지 다니다가 그만두고 결혼을 했어요. 결혼 후에는 집에서 아이들을 키우며 살았고, 그러다 남편이 먼저 하늘나라로 가셨습니다. 그 후에는 한국에서 이 직장 저 직장도 다녀보고, 식당도 하고, 여러 가지를 해봤어요. 태어날 때부터 돈 버는 일이 제게 맞지 않았어요. 처음에는 몰랐는데, 나중에 깨닫고 보니 하나님께서 그런 걸 제게 원하시지 않으시는 것 같더라고요. 장사를 하거나 사람을 상대하며 돈을 버는 일이 하나님이 기뻐하시는 일이 아니라는 걸 여러 번 느꼈어요. 차라리 정직하게 일하고 그 삯으로 살아가는 것이 하나님이 더 기뻐하시는 일 같아서, 옷가게 등 여러 가지를 접었습니다. 그렇게 살다가, 아들 사정으로 인해 미국에 오게 됐어요. 1983년, 제 나이 42세 때, 남편이 갑작스럽게 3개월 만에 돌아가시고 저는 혼자서 세 아이 — 큰아들, 딸, 막내 아들 — 를 데리고 살게 되었습니다. 어릴 때부터 저희 집은 굉장히 부유했어요. 그래서 돈에 대한 갈망이 별로 없었고, 어려서부터 교회에 다녔습니다. 그때는 구원의 확신보다는 그냥 교회에 다니는 집안이니까 다녔던 거죠. 외할머니께서 평양에서 전도사님으로 계셨고, 저희는 대대로 믿는 집안이었어요. 교회에서는 노래를 좋아해서 성가대에 있었고, 6·25 전쟁 때는 병원을 다니며 부상당한 군인들을 위해 찬양을 많이 했습니다. 그래서 어릴 때부터 찬송이 늘 제 삶 속에 있었어요. 하나님이 저를 사랑하신다는 걸 어릴 때부터 알았고, 그래서 혼자 됐을 때도 ‘돈이 없어서 못 살겠다’는 생각을 한 번도 해본 적이 없었어요. 하나님께서는 항상 좋은 사람들을 제 주위에 보내주셨어요. 살이 떨어진 날 기도하면, 어김없이 친구가 전화해서 ‘오늘 네 집 간다’며 살과 반찬을 사 오곤 했어요. 그런 일이 여러 번 있었습니다. 아이들 결혼 문제에서는 믿는 사람 만나게 해달라고 기도했는데, 그 기도는 응답이 안 됐어요. 아이들이 교회 안 다니는 사람과 결혼하겠다는데, 제가 어떻게 막을 수가 없더라고요. 그렇게 결혼한 후, 아들이 혼자 되어 미국으로 오게 됐고, 당시 세 살이던 손녀 유리와 함께 저도 왔다 갔다 하다가, 결국 여기서 눌러앉게 됐습니다. 교회는 처음에 LA 쪽으로 멀리 다니다가, 나중에 동네 교회를 알아보다 선한목자교회를 만나게 됐습니다.

이민 생활의 어려움

진행자: 미국으로 이민 오셔서 적응하시면서 가장 어려웠던 점이 무엇인지요?

문명자 권사님: 운전은 한국에서 했던 터라 어렵지 않았어요. 제일 힘들었던 건 영어였어요. 한국에서는 회화가 아닌 문법 위주로 공부했기 때문에, 막상 미국에 와서 대화가 전혀 안 됐어요. 외국 사람이 뭘 물어보면 모른다는 말밖에 못 했어요. 59세에 왔으니 어른학교도 다녀봤는데, 영어가 하루아침에 되는 게 아니잖아요. 만나는 사람이 다 한국 사람이니 영어를 배울 기회도 없었고, 대화가 안 된다는 게 제일 두려웠어요. 처음에 유리랑 다닐 때는, 신호등 버튼도 몰라서 한참을 서 있었어요. 한국처럼 그냥 서 있으면 차가 멈추는 줄 알았는데, 여기는 버튼을 눌러야 하더라고요. 유리가 ‘할머니, 여기 눌러보세요’ 해서 눌렀더니 사람 건너는 신호가 나왔어요. 그 정도로 몰랐습니다. 그래도 유리가 무용을 하고 싶다고 해서 같이 다니기도 하고, 옆집 미국 사람들이 화분도 주고 차 마시러 오라고 하는데, 말을 못 하니까 ‘오케이’ 하고 갈 수가 없더라고요. 그게 조금 힘들었고, 아는 사람도 없으니 많이 외로웠어요. 하지만 하나님은 항상 기도할 수 있는 환경을 주셨어요. 바로 옆에 밤새 기도하는 교회가 있어서, 일주일에 세 번씩 가서 밤새도록 같이 기도했어요. 기도의 끈을 놓지 않은 덕분에 미국에서도 신앙생활을 이어갈 수 있었습니다. 처음 다닌 교회는 목사님이 잘못되어서 나오게 됐고, 그러다 선한목자교회를 만났어요. 새벽기도에 갔더니 설교하시는 분의 인상이 너무 선하고, 말씀이 너무 깨끗하더라고요. 그날로 마음을 정하고 다음 주일에 등록했어요. 목사님께 성가대를 하고 싶다고 말씀드렸더니 흔쾌히 허락해 주셔서, 그때부터 지금까지 약 20년간 성가대를 섬기고 있습니다. 1부 예배라 새벽 4시 반에서 5시에는 일어나야 하는데, 그게 몸에 배어서 오히려 건강해진 것 같아요. 돌아보면 어떤 어려움 속에서도 하나님께서 저를 꼭 붙들고 계셨다는 걸 늘 느꼈어요. 그래서 하나님 부르시는 날까지 찬양하고 섬기다가, 부르시면 기쁘게 가고 싶습니다.

신앙을 붙잡아 준 것

진행자: 기도, 말씀, 아니면 신앙 공동체 — 신앙생활을 지속하게 한 것이 무엇인지 좀 더 자세히 말씀해 주시겠어요?

문명자 권사님: 무슨 일을 만나든 ‘이게 하나님이 원하시는 일인가’ 하고 먼저 기도했어요. 예를 들어 친구와 점심 약속이 있으면, ‘하나님, 오늘 이 친구를 만나는데 제게서 그리스도의 향기가 나타나게 해주세요. 헛된 시간이 되지 않게 해주세요. 가고 오는 운전도 지켜주세요’ 하고 기도하는 거죠. 운전대를 잡을 때마다 천사가 뒤에서 저를 꼭 붙잡고 있다는 느낌을 자주 받았어요. 그림을 배우게 된 것도, 두 살 위 언니가 일찍 치매가 오셔서 걱정이 됐기 때문이에요. 신문에서 그림 그리는 것이 치매를 늦춘다는 걸 읽고, 교회 게시판에 미술반 모집 광고가 나서 들어갔어요. 그런데 몇 주 하다 보니 ‘그림에만 빠지면 말씀 보는 시간이 줄겠다’는 생각이 들더라고요. 그 무렵 한국 방문 때 목사님께서 성경을 필사하는 것에 대해 말씀하시는 걸 듣고 마음에 꽂혔어요. 미국에 돌아와서 공책을 사고 창세기부터 필사를 시작했어요. 읽으면서 쓰니까 은혜가 훨씬 배가 되더라고요. 그게 한 11~12년 전부터 시작해서, 신구약을 두 번 다 쓴 후에는 선지자들을 시대별로 찾아서 연대순으로 정리하며 쓰고 있어요. 지금 네 번째 필사 중입니다. 쓰다가 너무 벅차서 울기도 하고, 어깨와 손목이 아파도 쓰다 보면 아픈 것도 잊어버려요. 제 방 책상 위에는 항상 성경과 공책이 펼쳐져 있어서, 지나가다가도 앉아서 몇 절 쓰고, 아침에 눈 뜨면 화장실 다녀와서 몇 줄 쓰고 하루를 시작합니다. 말씀이 늘 눈 앞에 있으니 항상 묵상할 수 있어요. 그 은혜가 얼마나 큰지 모릅니다.

젊은 세대에게 전하는 말씀

진행자: 신앙생활에서 어려움을 겪고 있는 젊은 세대에게 어떤 말씀을 전해주고 싶으신가요?

문명자 권사님: 우리 세대 때는 참 단순하게 살았어요. 경쟁 없이, 주어진 환경에서 가난하면 가난한 대로, 부자면 부자대로 살았고, 이웃과 정을 나누며 살았어요. 그런데 지금은 경쟁 사회가 되면서 그 정이 많이 없어졌죠. 지금 아이들은 원하면 뭐든 바로 얻을 수 있으니, 기다리고 갈망하는 경험이 없어서 아쉬워요. 그렇지만 시대가 변하는 건 어쩔 수 없어요. 중요한 건, 믿는 가정에서 태어난 것 자체가 복이라는 걸 알고, 부모의 믿음 위에 자기 자신의 믿음을 세워가는 것입니다. 성경에서 하나님은 우리의 아버지이시잖아요. 눈에 보이는 육신의 아버지처럼, 눈에 보이지 않아도 예수를 고백하면 성령께서 우리 안에 계세요. 내가 무슨 일을 하든 성령님이 내 안에 살아 계시고 나를 인도하신다는 것을 깊이 알면 정말 좋겠어요. 아버지가 없던 손자 옆에서, 자는 손녀 머리 맡에 앉아 매일 기도해 주던 아들의 모습이 늘 마음에 남아 있어요. 기도하는 자녀는, 혹시 잘못 나가더라도 꼭 다시 돌아와 아버지를 만납니다. 세상 공부도 열심히 해야 하지만, 하루에 5분이든 10분이든 하나님 앞에 투자하는 시간을 갖는 것 — 그것이 제일 중요합니다.

English Interview Transcript

Introduction — Name, Age, and Birthplace

Interviewer: Please tell us your name, age, and where you were born.

Elder Nancy Myungja Moon: Moon, Myung-ja. My name changed after coming to America — here, I go by Nancy Myungja Moon. I am 85 years old, and I was born in Cheongdo, Gyeongsangbuk-do, Korea.

Life in Korea Before Immigration

Interviewer: What was your life like in Korea before coming to America?

Elder Moon: I attended college up through my second year, then quit and got married. After marrying, I stayed home and raised my children. Then my husband passed away and went to heaven, and after that I tried various jobs in Korea — working at different workplaces, running a restaurant, doing whatever I could. From the day I was born, none of that work suited me — all the money-making and business. At first I didn’t realize it, but looking back, I came to understand that God didn’t want those things for me. Dealing with people, managing a business, chasing profit — I felt many times over that this was not something that pleased God. I thought it would please Him far more if I simply worked honestly for a wage. So I closed up shop. Then, unexpectedly, circumstances with my son brought me to America. It was 1983, and I was 42 years old. My husband had passed away suddenly within just three months of falling ill, leaving me alone to raise three children — my oldest son, my daughter, and my youngest son. When I was young, my family was very wealthy. Because of that, I never felt a desperate need to chase money. From childhood I attended church, though at that time I went mostly out of family tradition rather than a deep personal faith. My maternal grandmother was an evangelist in Pyongyang, and ours was a family that believed in Jesus, so naturally, I was in church from the very beginning. I loved singing, and from a young age I sang in the choir. During the Korean War, I traveled to hospitals to sing for wounded soldiers. Hymns have been with me my whole life. Even then, I knew that God cherished me. So when I became a widow, I never once thought I might fail because I had no money. Even before my husband died, he would earn and put money in the drawer, and I would simply use it — I had little concern for managing finances. But when I was left alone, life became very hard. Still, God always placed good people around me. On days when I ran out of rice, I would pray, and without fail a friend would call and say, “I’m coming to your house today,” arriving with rice and side dishes. That happened many times. I thought, “God must truly love me.” I have never lived a life apart from Him. Regarding my children’s marriages, I prayed that they would marry believers, but God did not answer that prayer. They married people who did not attend church, and there was nothing I could do about it. Eventually my son became a single father and moved to America. My granddaughter Yuri was only about three years old at the time. I kept flying back and forth with her until my other son said, “Stop going back and forth. Let’s figure out a way for you to live here.” So I settled in America with Yuri. After attending a church far out in the LA area, I eventually searched for something closer to home, and that is how I found Good Shepherd Presbyterian Church.

The Challenges of Immigrant Life

Interviewer: What was the most difficult part of adapting to life in America as an immigrant?

Elder Moon: Driving wasn’t a problem since I had driven in Korea. The hardest thing was the language. In Korean schools, we studied grammar for written exams — we never practiced conversation. So when I arrived, I simply could not communicate. Whenever a stranger asked me something, I could only say I didn’t know. I was 59 when I came. I tried adult school, but English doesn’t come overnight. And since nearly everyone I met was Korean, I had little opportunity to practice. Not being able to speak was the most frightening thing. In the beginning, when I went out with Yuri, I didn’t even understand the traffic signals. I would just stand at the corner, waiting. In Korea, cars simply stop for pedestrians. Here, you have to press a button, and no one had told me that. Yuri and I stood there for a long time while cars kept going by. Finally, Yuri said, “Halmoni, try pressing this.” I pressed it, and the walk signal appeared. That is how little I understood. Still, Yuri wanted to take dance lessons, and since the studio was right across the street, we went together for a year. The American neighbors in our apartment complex were always kind — they gave me flowers to grow and invited me in for tea. I could understand a little of what they said, but since I couldn’t speak, I could never accept. That was painful. Without friends and without language, I was very lonely. But God always provided time and space for prayer. There was a church right next door that held all-night prayer meetings, and I went about three times a week. Believers were always nearby, saying, “Let’s go to church together, let’s go pray.” I never let go of that lifeline. The first church I tried near my home had some difficulties with the pastor, so I had to leave. While searching for a new church, I attended an early morning prayer service at what would become Good Shepherd. The pastor who preached that day had such a gentle presence — his words were clear and unadorned, and something in me said, “This is where I should be.” I registered the following Sunday. I told the pastor I had spent my whole life singing in choirs and asked whether I needed to wait before joining. He said it was no problem and invited me to start in January. I have been in that choir for about 20 years now. Being in the first service means waking up at 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning, but that discipline has become part of me, and I believe it is one reason I have stayed healthy. Looking back over my life, I have always felt that no matter what difficulty I faced, God was holding me tightly. I am simply grateful. I do not know when He will call me, but until that day, I want to keep praising Him and serving well.

What Has Sustained Her Faith

Interviewer: Was it prayer, Scripture, or your faith community that most kept your faith going? Could you say a bit more about that?

Elder Moon: Whenever I face something, I first ask whether it is truly what God wants for me. Even something as ordinary as meeting a friend for lunch — I pray, “God, let the fragrance of Christ come through our conversation today. Don’t let our time together be wasted. Watch over my driving.” Every time I take the wheel, I feel that a guardian angel is holding me from behind. That is something I have felt countless times. The reason I began painting was that my older sister, a pianist in Korea, developed dementia early. I was afraid the same might happen to me. I read in the newspaper that painting can help delay dementia, and just then, our church posted a notice recruiting for an art class. I signed up. But after a few weeks, a thought came to me: “If I get absorbed in painting, my time in the Word will shrink.” For me, prayer is not something confined to a set hour. I pray while walking, while cooking, while moving through the house. “Pray without ceasing” — I have always believed that is what it means. But painting demanded a kind of focused attention that worried me. I felt it might pull me away from God. Around that time, during a visit to Korea, I heard a pastor speak about the practice of writing out Scripture by hand. That landed in my heart. When I returned to America, I bought a notebook and began writing the Bible from Genesis. Writing, I discovered, deepens the grace of reading: to write a verse, you must read it once, then read it again to get it right. Through that, I ended up reading and meditating far more than I ever had. That was about eleven or twelve years ago. Since then I have written through the entire Old and New Testaments twice. After that, I noticed the Old Testament prophets are not arranged chronologically, which confused me, so I began researching the timeline and writing the Bible out in historical order. I am currently on my fourth writing. Sometimes while writing I become so overwhelmed with emotion that I cry. Some days my shoulders ache and my wrists hurt, but as I write, I forget the pain. My Bible and notebook are always open on my desk. I pass by, sit down, and write a few verses. First thing in the morning, before anything else, I write a few lines. The Word is always before me, and that constancy of meditation has been the greatest grace of my life.

A Word for the Younger Generation

Interviewer: What would you like to say to young people who are struggling in their faith?

Elder Moon: Our generation lived simply. There was no relentless competition. Whether poor or wealthy, people lived in their given circumstances and looked after one another. Even in the middle of the Korean War, with all its suffering, there was a warmth between people — a kind of deep affection — that has gradually disappeared. I feel sad for young people today, not because they are pitiful, but because they have so little experience of longing. When I was young, if I wanted something, I craved it, and when I finally had it, I knew how precious it was. We shared willingly. Now everything is instantly available, and the ability to wait and to appreciate seems harder to come by. But the world changes, and we cannot stop it. What I would say is this: being born into a family of faith is a blessing. Hold onto your parents’ faith, and build your own upon it. The God of the Bible is not a distant concept — He is our Father. Just as a physical father gives us life, God is our spiritual Father. When we confess Jesus, the Holy Spirit comes to live inside us. Whatever you do, whatever work you take on, know deeply that the living Father — through His Spirit — is inside you, guiding you. If you know that with certainty, it will change everything. I often think of my son, who would sit at the head of his daughter Yuri’s bed while she slept and pray over her, night after night. That image has never left my heart. A child who is prayed for, even if they wander far, will come back. They will meet the Father. Study hard for the world. But invest even five or ten or twenty minutes a day before God. That is the most important thing.

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